No Rescue


One great thing about Rock Hard’s wrestler’s rotation policy (the fact that they intersperse the appearances of their wrestlers) is how it let us appreciate better their talent. Blake was second fiddle to both Bruce and Dash on his first two matches, while Chad was not necessarily the main reason why you watched his matches against Zack and Austin. So now that the spotlight is only on them, what is the first thing I notice? Chad’s thighs! Let me be clear here, I already wrote about the lifeguard’s thighs before, but now he’s wearing a trunk with a higher cut (that should be the maximum length permitted for any his future appearances) that gives us the best look yet to his legs. His body is impressive, but again, I just can’t take my eyes away for them and if you are a fan of full thighs, don’t even think about passing on this match.

Tall, tanned, toned, and in matching trunk colors, at first sight Blake and Chad look more like tag team partners than opponents. However, as the action starts it feels like if they were carrying a grudge. Blake shoots the first insults (“Come on, shaggy!”) and off we go. As similar as they are is just as close as the first round is. I may be wrong but I don’t remember a first round with so many reversals in RHW. Both wrestlers seem to have absorbed a bit of the meanness of their previous opponents and bring a stronger set of verbal skills than in their previous performances. In fact, by the second round the guys even get creative with some body part puns (“You must be TRAPped!”, “TRI to stop me!”) that do fill the match with a bit more personality.

Both blondes look more like faces than heels, and that is something that is part of whar I think is the best thing about the match. I love when we see good guys going bad. Blake pulling up Chad by the hair, and Chad trying to choke Blake with the ropes (while narcissistically looking at himself in the we-know-it’s-there mirror) are some of the moments in which they let their inner villain out and gives us a hint of their potential.

Both Blake and Chad could be thought of as being part of RHW’s “development league” (to put it somehow), still needing to prove themselves against the big dogs and show they have enough drive and courage to make it to the top. At least one of them now walks out of the ring with the first victory of his career and with a validated sense of progress, as he leaves his opponent out cold and with no regrets about the fact that he’ll receive no rescue. finaldot

Kneel Before The King


The King is back! It has been three months since we last saw our favorite bodybuilder in action. It seems that after his hard-fought victory in the King of the Ring match, Dash went on to enjoy all the perks associated with his new title. Now, he is back to continue expanding his dominion by conquering (and destroying) the rest of the commoners on his land.

¡El Rey está de vuelta! Ya van tres meses desde que vimos a nuestro fisiculturista favorito en acción. Parece que luego de su difícil victoria en el la lucha del Rey de Ring, Dash se fue a disfrutar de los privilegios asociados con su nuevo título. Ahora, está de vuelta buscando continuar extendiendo su dominio al conquistar (y destruir) el resto de los plebeyos en su nuevo territorio.

And who is set to become the latest victim opponent? It’s the “Tall Titan” Blake Keller who steps into the ring to take an ever bigger challenge. Blake looks like a wedding’s hot best man everyone would like to… take a picture with. Tall, toned and sexy; in any other situation I would be rooting for this southern man. However, I just love the idea of watching those long extremities being chopped by my favorite wrestler in the RHW roster and the fact that he sells pain so well doesn’t help him much.

¿Y quién es su más reciente víctima oponente? Es el “Titan Gigante” Blake Keller quien entra al ring a enfrentarse a un desafío aún más grande. Blake parece el guapísimo padrino de bodas al que todos quieren… sacarse una foto. Alto, tonificado y sexy; en cualquier otra situación estaría del lado de este americano sureño. Pero para su desgracia, me encanta la idea de ver esas largas extremidades siendo destruidas por mi luchador favorito del roster de RHW y no le ayuda en nada el hecho de que se vea tan bien sufriendo. 

This match is exactly what you think it is: Dash kicking of the new guy’s ass, overcoming all of Blake’s advances and creating a thick coat of sweat (!) in the process. So how this one ends? With the King soaked in sweat that serves to highlight the sick definition of his muscles, subconsciously making us dropping to our knees to admire his greatness.

Esta lucha es exactamente lo que piensan que es: Dash pateándole el trasero al chico nuevo, superando todos los avances de Blake y cubriéndose de una capa de sudor en el proceso. ¿Así que como termina esto? Pues con el Rey empapado de sudor que sirve para realzar aún más la impresionante definición de sus músculos, subconscientemente haciendo que nos arrodillemos a admirar su grandeza.

You could says that should feel repetitive, but I can’t get enough of how natural the ‘destroying people as a side job’ comes to Dash. What does it for me is how his attitude  plays the line between confidence and cockiness, narrowly avoiding falling into arrogance. Dash seems to be more action than verb and now most of the RHW guys know that if they are not willing to kneel before the King, then he will come and break their knees… and everything else, for that matter.

Se pudiera decir que esto es algo repetitivo, pero al menos yo no me canso de disfrutar de cuan natural se le hace a Dash destruir gente como trabajo a tiempo parcial. Lo que me gusta es como la actitud de Dash está en la misma línea entre la confianza y la arrogancia. Dash parece ser más acción que verbo y ahora la mayoría de los luchadores de RHW saben que si no están dispuesto a arrodillarse ante el Rey, entonces él vendrá y le romperá las rodillas… y todo lo demás.

The question now is “Can anyone stop the Dash freight train?”. “Perhaps bad boy Ethan Andrews wants his shot at the muscle boy?” Rock Hard: we’re so ready to see that!

La pregunta ahora es “¿Puede alguien detener a Dash?”. “Tal vez el malévolo Ethan Andrews quiera su oportunidad contra el musculoso?” Rock Hard: ¡estamos más que listos para verlo! finaldot

A Smile With A Fist


As the dust has settled after all the events that finished with the ‘King of the Ring’ match last year, one Rock Hard Wrestling performer kept popping into my head. Yes, I was craving some Bruce Ballard and in last Wednesday’s RHW release I finally found my fix. Bruce, who can still be considered new to RHW, is only on his third match in the company and yet he’s already given the task to break-in another never-before-seen, utterly handsome rookie: Blake Keller.

At 4:55 of this match, Bruce says out loud the exact same question I have on my mind: “Where do they find you guys?!”  Blake Keller is a tall, handsome, dark blonde that seems to be picked from a Hollywood casting. He is another exhibit of why I awarded RHW with The P for Best Castings of 2014. Coming into the match, the only thing we know about him is that he is one of the tallest wrestlers to have stepped into the RHW ring, but he has “limited wrestling experience”. Uh oh… I can picture how the mouths around the locker room will start salivating when they hear this.

The match starts with Bruce in camouflage shorts, once again ready for war after becoming victim of the evil resident inside the ‘House of Bruce‘. In a scene I’d love to see more in RHW, Bruce strips from his shorts to end up in his wrestling gear. He then welcomes Blake by becoming the rookie’s not-so-friendly ring tour guide, promising to make Blake and the floor very good friends.

After Bruce gives Blake his first ever suplex, we find out that Blake has been doing his research when in a slip he says “That’s all you got Bruce?” even when Bruce hasn’t even mentioned his own name. Well, at least this one has an idea of what he’s getting into! At first Blake’s height may lead us to think this is going to be a David and Goliath scenario. Indeed, throughout the match Blake’s body will have to process a good amount of pain but he will also be able to prove that he knows how to make someone suffer. It takes three rounds of give-and-take wrestling to settle the score. And it will  probably take months before I forget the final images of the sweaty winner posing on top of his opponent.


Bruce once again impresses with a couple of the MMA moves (where were those when he needed them last time?) Just take a look at 10:49:

I kinda feel guilty about it, but watching his cute smile being turned into pain expressions just drives me nuts. He just looks beautiful while he suffers!

As for Blake, he maybe a rookie, have limited wrestling experience, and be a little soft right now, but he definitely has more than the minimum requirements to be part of RHW dog-eat-dog competition. You can see viciousness in his eyes when he’s got Bruce trapped. And as a side note, I find it particularly sexy to watch those long tanned thighs bouncing as he squirms in pain.

The Protostar Evolves

The best thing of this match it’s watching Bruce being more driven and focused than before. On this one, it feels like he is more comfortable being around the ring, either when it’s his time to be commanding as when it’s time for him to suffer. The contrast of cute and aggressive, a smile with a fist, adds layers to his performance, which is exactly what RHW has been specializing in. I like the direction of his overall evolution: the versatile performer who can be as good dishing punishment as it is taking it. Powerful but vulnerable, it’s that duality one of the virtues that many of the greatest underground wrestling performers share. It seems Rock Hard was very right when they said they had a future star in their hands.

Bottom Line

An entertaining piece that evidences Bruce Ballard’s evolution at Rock Hard Wrestling, while it scores another great find with Blake Keller. More of these two, please!

Bruce Ballard vs Blake Keller is available now at Rock Hard Wrestling » finaldot