Owning Bruce, Or, 101 Ways To Destroy A Bodybuilder
Do you remember “The List“? Yes, that list of matches that until a few months ago I could only dream about but are now slowly becoming a reality thanks to the vision and hard work of the team at Rock Hard Wrestling. They now fulfill my dream of watching another two of their biggest stars on what is one of their best pieces of work this year: it’s the evil punk Ethan Andrews vs the smiley bodybuilder Bruce Ballard! Sorry, let me rephrase that. It’s Ethan Andrews OWNING Bruce Ballard!!!!!!
Two weeks ago, when the names of this match-up were revealed, I thought this was going to be even match but Bruce couldn’t have picked a worse moment to run into Ethan. Last time we saw the punk, he suffered what was probably one of the most frustrating defeats of his RHW career at the hands of Dash Decker. So just as Andrews needs to blow off some steam, he finds the bobyduilder curling 25’s at Rock Hard’s gym. What follows is one of the most surprising beatings to have ever being recorded in Rock Hard history, as Bruce is broken down to pieces without having any real chance to score even one submission.
But what makes this match so awesome is not what happens but HOW it happens. Ethan looks genuinely driven to destroy his foe, consumed by his unending angriness against the bigger muscled guys. That antipathy is not only believable but is evident on his face, body language and his decisions when it’s time to work Bruce. In fact, I can tell you this match is where I have seen Ethan make the best use of his arsenal, with a display of moves that could be used to write a book titled “101 Ways to Destroy a Bodybuilder”.
From aerial attacks to ground work, Ethan makes sure that there is not one single muscle unbroken before the match is over. As always, he also makes sure to add some humiliation to each move like by stretching Bruce’s mouth, slapping his abs and chest or throwing in his classic verbal jabs. But the greatest thing is watching how releasing all that anger is also the source of SO much pleasure for Ethan, as that monstrous bulge seems to keep growing and growing inside his tights, making it look more prominent than ever. I mean, what can be a better anger management therapy?
All of this, however, would be nothing if the man on the receiving end of it was just laying there inertly. Great selling is what makes the magic happens and as we all know, Bruce suffers beautifully. Throughout the encounter, he matches Ethan’s intensity, giving us those delightful suffering sounds as well as that involuntary smile as he’s stretched, clawed, hung, slammed and manhandled. A couple of times I have said that I truly don’t know what I prefer best: heel Bruce or jobber Bruce. That dichotomy is what actually makes him one of my favorite wrestlers and what makes him a star. I know that no matter his role Bruce delivers and in this case he completes the dynamics necessary to create a video that will surely be another RHW mega hit.
It is worth noting that although Bruce gets the customary chance to reverse the action for very brief periods of time, this is a squash. Although it is unusual for me to like a squash match, the only option I have here is to give into RHW’s great work. They intelligently put their resources to use, matching their best villain against one of their most adorable (and powerful) faces in the roster, in a surprising muscle demolition match that many were thirsty for since Catalog 20. With a superb performance by Ethan that will probably be used as a benchmark for future RHW villains, to the arousing images of battered bodybuilder Bruce, this match undoubtedly captures the essence of underground wrestling. This is simply an instant classic, a 10 out of 10 P molecules!
So stop whatever the fuck you are doing and go to Rock Hard’s website to own this piece of history!